Time To Shine

Sail on, silver girl

Sail on by

Your time has come to shine

All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine

If you need a friend

I'm sailing right behind you.

           (Hear the song Bridge Over Troubled Waters. Lyrics by Paul Simon)

I am much more excited and much less self-conscious about this transition to gray hair than I thought I would be. 

Last night, looking in the mirror in a brightly-lit movie theater restroom, the top of my head shined brightly. I grabbed a thick chunk of hair and held it straight up over my head so my friend Gwenn could see the stark delineation between gray and light brown. 

Demarcation at 3-1/2 Months. February 2018

“When you go gray the first time," I told her, "it's a few hairs at a time over a long period time. It’s crazy how this time the silver is bursting forth from my head!"

Some have asked if I had considered just dying it silver since that has been a trend in recent years. That may be a great solution for some, but a big part of this process for me is to no longer process my hair - no more dye, expense or time. In addition to the relief I feel of not dying my hair anymore, and my desire to avoid the harshness of bleaching the color out of my hair in order to dye it silver, I am also fine with letting the natural color come in in its own time. 

We are so used to controlling things, (I am so used to trying to control things!) and immediacy and instant gratification. How often do we want to skip the process or the journey and just reach the goal?  The time it will take to transition to my natural silver offers me time to get used to it, time for reflection and contemplation, time to be excited, time to be impatient, time to be eager, self-doubting, relieved. 

  

The demarcation in my hair between the old colored hair and the fresh new silver coming in is symbolic to me. There is a dividing line between what has been and what is to be. Look at the synonyms of that word above: distinction, differentiation, boundary, frontier.

More than anything, this process and the arrival of the new/old silver hair feels freeing, emboldening and hopeful to me. And frankly, I like knowing that I am about to really stand out. One thing I'm learning with so many of us covering gray hair between ages 50-70 is that while we may look younger – at least in someone’s peripheral vision – but at worst we fade into the background as just another middle-aged woman with a dyed head of hair; not unique, not special, not distinctive. Or perhaps that is how I felt. I am only 3-1/2 months into this project and much more than I expected I feel like this step to show my true color (my true colors) is giving me an internal boost.

The new frontier feels thrilling and empowering and I am up for both the journey and whatever lies ahead.